Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
