I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
