I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
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His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
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And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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