just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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