some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
