I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
