Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
