his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
