He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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