According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
