yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
