OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
