i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
