Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
