the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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