It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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