YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
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This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
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We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize