if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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