No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
