You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
