yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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