Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize