So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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