hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
