u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
