they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize