id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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