ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
