Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
