WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
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I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
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This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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