She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize