I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
