If that was your dad, he is hot
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
