You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I look better un-naked...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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