I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
we're so committed to being not committed
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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