Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
