It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
