office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
