woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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