Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
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