I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
