Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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