Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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