I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
