So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
