Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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