new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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