? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
