so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
