took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
