I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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