so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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