used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
