That's intense
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
