I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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